Don’t be a Walker (Zombie): Breaking Out of Corpus Delicti

Walking Dead

Here’s the deal. Walkers (Zombies) lack vitality. They possess no meaningful life. They are victims in the form of a dead body moving through life empty with non-functional and missing parts. Are you a Walker?

When you hold onto past injustices you are left holding onto the role of a Walker (Zombie).  First, would you agree we all have been injured at some point by another person? Maybe you are a person who has suffered horrific abuse as a child.  Maybe you have been betrayed by a loved one you trusted. Sometimes your mind tells you don’t have anything to complain about. You didn’t have bruises or broken bones. Still you experience a heavy deadness brought on by the sadness and sorrow living in your heart. You wish you could pluck the pain out of you mind and heart like a weed. It is not that easy. Everything we have experienced, seen, heard, and felt is held within our amazing body and that includes our mind (brain). There are no leaks like a sieve riddled zombie. Our whole being is an additive system built to learn and remember. In other words, we are stuck with our history.  Consequently, this mean you have unpleasant and unwanted memories you can’t just get rid of without a lobotomy.

Corpus Delicti

Does life feel like you have a black cloud over your dead body? Are you struggling to live life by building a casket for your pain so you can bury it? If this feel like a familiar experience then let me introduce you to the legal concept of corpus delicti.

Corpus delicti in Latin literally means the “body of evidence” as in the material proof needed to prove a crime has been committed. Corpus delicti is the actual victim’s body in a murder case. It can also be the remains of a charred building which has been burned to the ground by arson. Corpus delicti is the objective proof used to convict a person of a crime and hold them responsible. Without the body of evidence a person can be acquitted. They might get off the hook!

The question I find interesting when it comes to the concept of corpus delicti in connection to non-material injustices is as follows. ‘If you feel okay and life is fulfilling and you are engaged in pursuing meaningful endeavors has a wrong occurred? Have you been harmed?’ Simply said, ‘Are you harmed if you are not hurting?’ Why is this question important? Your answer can have an impact on your perspective of life. Your perspective influences your sense of vitality and happiness?

The Crime

Let’s look at the following scenario. A person comes to therapy who is an adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse. I consider this to be a tragedy on a lot of different levels. When this person comes in for therapy they often have a goal of getting rid of the pain (the memory) so they can feel better and live a happy life. Sometimes, and maybe you feel this way, they think they are damaged or broken. They want to be fixed. Quite often, like many of us, they feel angry, depressed (perhaps suicidal), anxious and hurting. Are you a corpus delicti (body of evidence)? Are you, your pain and suffering, proof a crime has been committed.  What happens if and when you feel better? Does it mean there was no crime? I call this stage of healing the walker stage. We all walk though the land of named victimhood. The Zur Institute offers a clear picture of the landscape of victimhood.Check it out here.

You do not have to be a victim of childhood sexual abuse to know you have wounds from childhood. Since our parents, teachers, clergy and other care takers are fallible we have experienced disappointed, we all have been let down in one way or another. We all have a some form of a childhood wound such as mild neglect, rejection, abuse or even being bullied by our peers. Furthermore, it is natural to have memories and feel the sting of past hurt. What can you do about it?

Being Innocent

The Zur Institute provides a definition of the innocent victim as a category of people who do not share any responsibility of the offence with the perpetrator. What this means is that we cannot expect them (the victim) to have been able to avert the offense by anticipating it or preventing it. In essence, the victim is/was defenseless.

Examples:

• Children who are sexually or physically abused, or neglected.
• Rape or murder victims when the crime is unforeseen, unprovoked, and perpetrated by complete strangers.
• Severely mentally ill or disabled adults who get hurt or exploited.
• Those who suffer a crime while unconscious.
• Victims of random or rampage shooting.
• Victims of unexpected natural disasters: victims of earthquake in a non-earthquake zone.
• Victims of corporate greed, such as those perpetuated by corporations who sell genetically modified foods which cause cancer, or corrupt banking practices, which scheme people of their savings or homes.

You can add your own example. An example I added is people who suffer from health problems they are born with or develop not caused by their own neglect. Do you see yourself as innocent yet feel guilty? Do you think or feel as if your very existence is wrong? This can be a symptom of being the body of evidence? What now? Will you claim your life back?

Living Beyond ‘The Body of Evidence’

This part is a little tricky. I do not claim to have the one answer nor do I claim to have all the answers. To begin with I believe in justice and people should be held responsible for their actions. The dilemma is when justice does not happen in a manner that repairs the harm inflicted. You have probably experienced this when you expected someone to sincerely apologize and it did not happen. In extreme cases such as murder, rape, or sexual abuse where the perpetrator is sentenced to jail rarely do they show remorse or admit wrong doing. Then what? You might find yourself in a struggle to understand why the perpetrator doesn’t feel remorse. .  The question of, “Why/”  becomes a bottomless pit.

You are on the hook (with your perpetrator) and left holding the bag in the bottomless pit. What’s in your bag? Hurt, suffering, pain, anger, resentment, vengeance, hate, frustration, hopelessness, depression, righteous indignation, rage, you name it!! Does the bag feel heavy? Can you let it go? Does the bag morph so that it ends up being your purpose in life? Whew!

What happens if you let go of the bag? Does it mean the harm inflicted is acceptable? Absolutely not! It means now is a time to explore your idea of living well. Now is the time to focus on living beyond the body of evidence.  This stage of healing is the integration of trauma, both small and large. Integration leads to becoming differentiated from the perpetrator, as well as other people in your life. I call it freedom.  You are in a fluid position of being able to see and know from different perspectives the history of your life with all its ups and downs. You can be here and now and know about then and there. You can remember then and there and see yourself here now. One step further, you can image about the future looking toward it and from within at the present moment  You are capable of gently holding with loving kindness your own life including both the light and the dark moments.  Living well is the ability to turn your focus toward meaningful and fulfilling endeavors based on your desire. Not as a distraction or way of avoidance. Without hesitation, I strongly believe this is a time of becoming whole.You can focus your time and energy in creating a life beyond trauma.

Related Posts:

1. Healing from Childhood Trauma
2. Surviving and Thriving
3. A Life Worth Living

(C) 2016 Brenda Bomgardner