A Native American grandfather was talking to his grandson about how he felt. He said, “I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is the vengeful, angry violent one. The other wolf is the loving compassionate one.” The grandson asked him, “Which wolf will win the fight in your heart?” The grandfather answered, “The one I feed.”
I see ruminating and worry as the wolf ready to devour your serenity. The more you struggle with the past and worry about the future the more you fight with the wolf as it gets your full attention and consumes your energy. One way out of the fight is mindfulness. You can make a choice to be present in the moment by turning your focus towards what you are doing in the here and now. Mindfulness is a skill which can help you to move towards changing your relationship with rumination and worry.
Fusion, the third trap, is when you are your story. Hence, it is when you are “fused” with your roles and your stories. My experience tells me that roles, stories and even sensations along with emotions are often judged. They can be labeled and evaluated as good or bad, right or wrong and then you become good or bad, right or wrong. However, you are separate from your experience. Consequently, mindfulness is significant in helping you create distance from fusion. The purpose of this distance is so you can observe and appreciate your life. It allows for compassion to be present. The distance created by mindfulness allows for you to make a choice about which wolf you want to feed.
Are you curious about how mindfulness can help protect your serenity? Let me know if I can help.
I have attached a short list of additional readings from other website.
- How to Increase Self-Compassion in 4 Easy Steps
- Serenity On-Line
- The Myth of Learning from Experience
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Story is taken from The Mindfulness & Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety by John Forsyth, Ph.D and George Eifert, Ph.D.