Forgiveness is a big part of my life because I find I can live a better life rather than a bitter life. It means I can bend but not break when I have suffered the heavy weight of being injured. The way I do this is by fostering my resilience. We could spend our time together with me telling you hurt and forgiveness stories from my life. However, I want to hear your stories. I want to learn from you.
I can say this, “Self-care, is the secret weapon I have to foster resilience so I am strong enough to offer forgiveness and this all starts at home.” Self-forgiveness cleanses the soul and washes away shame and guilt. It allows a person to fully experience their own humanness. Sometimes, when I connect to my own self-compassion and forgiveness, I can even laugh at myself. When, I have self-forgiveness I the have the power to extend it to others. This mean I wish, “NO ILL WILL.” I get to move on. I get to be free. It is a gift I give myself.
Have you ever decided to “get over it?” How about deciding to “move on” with your life? What about, “it’s not worth the trouble” Do you ask yourself, “Is it worth the time or energy?” At some point we all ask ourselves these questions.
If you have decided to forgive or move on, I want to ask you. “Does it mean the offending person gets to retain or be re-instated into a similar place in your life?” This is a question I hear often from people I work with.
I say it depends. Maybe yes. Maybe No. The choice is yours. I go back to the idea of self-care. Is it self-caring to let a “user, manipulating or dis-honest or mean” person back into the same spot they had before? There are many factors to consider. I believe retaining the relationship is a very personal choice and nobody knows what’s best for you except you. Also, I believe getting a neutral person to help sort the issues out can be beneficial in the long term. How far do you want to bend?
Do you have a story you would like to share? A lesson of wisdom to pass along? You can comment here or send me an email. If you really want to talk give me a call. I am all ears.
Copyright (c) 2011 Brenda Bomgardner, MA, NCC