When I decide to “go for it” I generally feel better. I am not talking about being impulsive and careless. I am talking about the idea of self-efficacy. Can I do it? Do I believe I can do it? Self-efficacy is the belief in your ability to succeed in a particular situation.
When your mind is telling you, “You are a failure.” “You’ll never succeed.” “Who do you think you are?” Rebellion against your mind means doing it anyway. Okay, so it sounds kinda crazy that you can do what you want. When your mood is down in the dumps you can choose to take even the smallest step towards your dreams. This is called, “Mood independant behavior.” Yep, we do it almost everyday. We get up and go to work, shower, do the laundry and many more behaviors our minds say, “I don’t want to, I can’t,” and then we do it anyway.
We all have self-doubt from time to time. It becomes a problem when it prevents us from living a fulfilling life. When it zaps our efforts to create meaningful experiences in our life. Fear, lack of confidence, not having the right skills, pessimism, low-self-esteem and many other things can all contribute to the feeling of dis-empowerment.
One of my biggest joys as a therapist is when I see a client realize they can do it! However, it is easier said then done. Hence, a guide is a big help. I have my life Sherpas and I am grateful for their guidance. I use a coach, a supervisor and my own therapist as formal guides.
I read a few postings which fueled the topic for today and I want to share them with you.
- Laurie Hawley’s post, “What Difference Do You Want to Make?” on her Aha Life Design blog. Laurie asks six questions that will get you started thinking about what you can do. Laurie writes in a very personal style and shares of herself openly.
- Psychology Today has many bloggers and articles. You can search for a multitude of topics. I like Helen Adrienne’s post, “Creating a Virtual Campfire: Reclaiming Resiliency & Self-Efficacy in Serenity.”
- Good Therapy is another website that offers multiple articles by different authors. Darlene Lancer ties it together with her post, “Building Self-Esteem, Self-Responsibility, and Self-Efficacy.”
- For the business minded I recommend Mind Tools. I receive Mind Tools newsletters in my E-mail box every week. I find the videos and well organized articles helpful with focus and clarity. Martin Seligman, the founder of positive psychology, is featured this week. His PERMA Model is beautifully explained in the article, “Bringing Well-Being and Happiness to Your Life.”
I invite you to take time to read the post by Madeline Kolb Life Lessons from the Little Train That Could.
My experience with self-efficacy is that I can bring about the changes I want in my life. How do you experience self-efficacy. I would love to hear from you.
Related Article: What Do You Dream Of?
Current Newsletter: ACT on YourDreams: Beyond the Vision Board
(c) 2013 Brenda Bomgardner, MA, LPC, NCC, BCC
Jocelyn Hilling says
Brenda, I love your blog. I really appreciate your relatable approach as well as numerous other resources and articles that got you pumped on this topic. I also can relate when clients reach that “ah ha” moment noticing that they have more control than they imagined. Nice read!
Brenda Bomgardner says
Jocelyn, Thank you for visiting. Thank you for the kind words about my blog. I am definitely pumped about helping clients get to their “ah ha” moments. I like it when I can apply the mindfulness skills I teach clients to my own passions and then take action in moving toward what really matters. Then I get the big, “ah ha” for me too. It’s like a spring day when the puzzle pieces fit and I get unstuck and start moving. Welcome and drop in anytime.